Greatest Fear

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “1984.”

Nothing but darkness surrounds me. A cool breeze covers me like a thick blanket. A dim light begins to rise as my surroundings become clearer; four walls and a barred window. No way out. There’s a faint tapping sound in a dark corner of the room. I realize then that I am not alone. “Who’s there?” I say trying hard to project toughness, but failing miserably. The tapping stops for just a moment then continues. Panic and fear all but drowns me. I feel the walls caving in around me. “No need to panic Darling’. Relax, take a seat.” a voice says, soft and playful, like this is a game, like I am the game. It’s voice sounds familiar,
“Do I know you?” I ask.
“Would you like to—” it asks, playfully intrigued. I back up to hit the cold hard wall behind me; heart nearing my throat.
“May be, maybe not,” the voice continues. “How ’bout I tell
you a little story. You like stories don’t you.”
I could feel it smiling, knowing something I don’t. My mind is racing, searching for a way out. Hopelessness takes a hold of me when we both realize there’s no way out. I slide down to the cold wooden floor and stare at the snow falling outside the window. In defeat I reply to the malevolent stranger in this prison with me, “What’s the story?”
“Ah, I knew you’d be interested, not that you really have
a choice, Darling child. Hm. Once upon a time,” it giggles. “Sorry,
that gets me every time. Once upon a time, there was
this young, beautiful girl who loved Love and all beautiful
things. She was quite shy, never really spoke much, but over
the years that changed. She grew comfortable in her skin. She fell
in love or what she thought was love, you know how us girls can be.
She got her heart broken numerous amounts of times, but
she still searched for that love she dreamed about. For that feeling that
love brought. Heartache after heartache, she still searched.
Now she was different and everyone who passed her could see it, sense it, feel it.
No matter how much she didn’t want to be noticed, people noticed her. She was the
modest-beauty type. She grew into a beautiful women, with a heart as strong and
a mind as wise, all who witnessed her heart would never be the same–but I mean for someone
so wise and crap, why would you let your heart get broken so many damn times.
Don’t get me wrong, she was no saint, broken a couple hearts herself but what the fuck.
At some point searching just..”
As the playful voice rants on, the story itself seems all too familiar. Me and this girl could be the same person. Staring out at the snow, I wonder if she ever found happiness.
“Darling,” the voice calls, “Listen, the story only gets better from here.
Now as I was saying, before you rudely wandered off in your own thoughts, this young,
beautiful girl yearned for this Love that only she dreamed—up until she met the
man that made it all come true. This man invaded her beautiful little world and made all the flowers bloom and the rainbows shine, made the fires within her heart rise and rise.
Oh this man showed her the love she dreamed was true-”
“How do you know so much about this girl.” I interrupt, panic rising through me once again as this story sounds too familiar. The faceless stranger giggles and the room gets colder. It sighs,
“You shouldn’t interrupt my story, the ending will surprise you, now where was I,
ah yes, he showed her that the love she dreamed did exist. He delivered himself to her
so eloquently, I’ll admit no one could resist such superb Charm and so she fell harder
and harder as the months flew by. She laughed louder and harder. She even sang louder;
the sweet melody that echoed in her heart. Oh, she loved this man and all that he was, ’till one day every thing changed.
Her world began to fall apart as he began to walk away. Piece by piece, her beautiful little world
began to disintegrate to nothing. The flowers that once bloomed vibrantly, withered and died
in the blink of an eye. The rainbows, with all its’ radiant colors, began to fall like teardrops
from the darkened sky. And the burning fires that surrounded her heart in a heap of passion
turned against her, as it slowly burned away her beautiful, delightful heart-”
“Stop it. Stop it!” I scream tears pouring. “Who are you?” I demanded, standing to my feet. The voice laughs once more, “If you haven’t figured it out by now Darling, you should just let me finish the stor-”
“WHO ARE YOU” I interject, voice growing louder in annoyance. This stranger, this place. No sun, no warmth, no light; nothing but darkness. There’s movement in the corner, where the stranger starts to stand.
“That beautiful, vibrant young girl and I have a lot in common.
You see Darling,”
the voice steps into the dim light, purple and blue patches on her skin; scars, open wounds, bruised and broken. I make my way up to her face and I stop breathing all at once, my heart races and my eyes grow wide as I stare at a face that I know so well.
“I am You. I am the Love that dying. I am the Hate. The Anger.
The You that knows no mercy, only Revenge. I am your greatest fear.
The part of you that you’ve imprisoned.”
It. Her. Me? The room begins to spin and all I want to do is sleep and wake up from whatever twisted self-reflection shit this is. I am drawn to the window by the turbulence outside and as I look out, what I thought was snow was really ash. Tears pour down my cheeks as clarity consumes me. I will never truly be free as this darkness swallows me. I realize then, that I will never, ever be the same.

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