CODE RED

Fallen-Angel-angels-32426792-1024-768Frustration, Anger, and Rage have all infiltrated me. The person I am has been run down and bound. I am now just their host. They cause my heart to feel restless. It’s like they’re squeezing the life out of me. Killing me. As painful as it is, part of me likes it, wants it, but I know that’s just them sinking their venomous teeth in my veins, my blood stream, making me want it like a drug. I feel them crawling through me. Enjoying my demise. My brain paints pictures of me and who I am, in an attempt to help me remember who I am; trying not to let theseΒ imbeciles take over me. I hear their sneaky, malevolent, whimsical laughs as the torment continues. I feel their venom work their way to my mind. Trying to take over me as quickly as possible. Trying to turn my mind to mush. Trying to completely control me.

Sleepless. They are making me feel restless and starved. Weak. I am putting up this fight, no, this war with every bit of strength they haven’t taken from me. But I want to give up. I want to give in. Give in to this Ravenous, all-consuming, high that they have me on. Give in to the desire. The Evil that they’ve plagued me with. The chemicals, their chemicals are in rushing through my body. The tips of my fingers tingle. Biting my lip, because I am enjoying this, they sing such a sweet melody. So captivating. Sirens in disguise, they are singing the Music of the Night to me. And I listen willingly. I listen willingly.

What am I doing? I can’t let them have me. I can’t let them win me. I have to fight. No matter how beautiful they make it seem. No matter how mesmerizing the song maybe. I can’t let them win me. My surroundings help them; puts me in their arctic embrace. The person I am is no more, but I fight like I have choice. Slowly I am losing my sanity as I hear their victorious laughs because they are enjoying my infinite demise.

But I still fight…I still fight…. I still….

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