There’s voice inside of me who cannot be caged
No one can make you feel something without your consent.
The Blame Game is a Famous Game
Manipulation is a party favor
self inventory is feared upon
The Spirit is real, minus those who are still asleep
Truth is blurred
Hope is a dream
people are lost
Love still exists, but few remembers
there’s good in some places,
Mistakes are made
Growth is uncertain for those who listen.
Faith is dying
The world is falling
Unity is an outsider
Corruption is breakfast, lunch and dinner
people are toys
money is power
The world is falling
The world is falling
Fear is evident
Chaos is luxury
unity is an outsider
Love is the answer, but no one remembers–
Corruption is
..Things I’ve Learned in 23 years..

In response to Everyday Inspiration by The Daily Post: Day Two : Write a List.


Fallen-Angel-angels-32426792-1024-768Frustration, Anger, and Rage have all infiltrated me. The person I am has been run down and bound. I am now just their host. They cause my heart to feel restless. It’s like they’re squeezing the life out of me. Killing me. As painful as it is, part of me likes it, wants it, but I know that’s just them sinking their venomous teeth in my veins, my blood stream, making me want it like a drug. I feel them crawling through me. Enjoying my demise. My brain paints pictures of me and who I am, in an attempt to help me remember who I am; trying not to let these imbeciles take over me. I hear their sneaky, malevolent, whimsical laughs as the torment continues. I feel their venom work their way to my mind. Trying to take over me as quickly as possible. Trying to turn my mind to mush. Trying to completely control me.

Sleepless. They are making me feel restless and starved. Weak. I am putting up this fight, no, this war with every bit of strength they haven’t taken from me. But I want to give up. I want to give in. Give in to this Ravenous, all-consuming, high that they have me on. Give in to the desire. The Evil that they’ve plagued me with. The chemicals, their chemicals are in rushing through my body. The tips of my fingers tingle. Biting my lip, because I am enjoying this, they sing such a sweet melody. So captivating. Sirens in disguise, they are singing the Music of the Night to me. And I listen willingly. I listen willingly.

What am I doing? I can’t let them have me. I can’t let them win me. I have to fight. No matter how beautiful they make it seem. No matter how mesmerizing the song maybe. I can’t let them win me. My surroundings help them; puts me in their arctic embrace. The person I am is no more, but I fight like I have choice. Slowly I am losing my sanity as I hear their victorious laughs because they are enjoying my infinite demise.

But I still fight…I still fight…. I still….

June 27th

I never thought that I would say those words to someone again
and then you happened.
I never thought that I would feel alive again
and then you happened.
I never thought that I would truly find my Home
and then you happened.
I never thought that I would let someone hold me again,
without it feeling wrong, like it didn’t belong
and then you happened.
I never thought that I would smile so much that my cheeks would hurt
and all you’d have to do is look at me,
and then you happened.
I never thought that I would let myself trust in anyone or anything again
and it isn’t easy,
and then you happened.
I never thought that someone would have enough patience to deal with me,
and then you happened.
I never thought that someone would look at me and be in complete awe of me,
feeling honored to have me,
and then you happened.
I never thought that someone could love me the way that I needed, the way that I pleaded
and then you happened.
I never thought that I would truly find myself again,
that abundance of love I had back in my innocence;
a freedom one only wishes for again,
but then you would say,
‘It wasn’t I that happened, It was God that happened.’
I never thought that I would truly believe in God in blind faith,
but then,
And it’s only The Beginning.

(c) Al’Nysa S. Goodwin

Loves’ Sour Spoils

He says that he.
I hear the words, but I only.
Hear the words, I do not believe
Oh the memories from my past
renders me
incapable of letting someone love me
But his consistency and persistence
threatens this cocoon
placed my.
fragile heart in.
let me be.
He constantly says he loves me.
Threatens me with kindness and patience
Calls me beautiful
not for selfishness
but of genuine hearted-ness
oh, he will not let me.
and I see.
Yes! I see that he loves me
but I am blinded by my own past memories.
I will not be a fool in hands, I will not let myself fall for this.
Smooth trickery?
but He constantly shows he
Loves Me.
Until the day I believe
Will I ever believe
Without a single doubt.
Clouding me?
How long will he love.

(C) Al’Nysa S. Goodwin

Rush.. 🌷

I want to feel the rush of a crush.
The excitement; the unpredictability of infinite possibilities.
I want to feel those infinite butterflies,
until I’m so nervous I can’t think straight
or remember to breathe.

I want to smile from ear to ear
because of something he sends or says to me. I want to ride on the
whirlwind that is the cosmic ocean of our intellectual beings
as we unlock mysteries and new beginnings.

I want to dive deep into his red sea,
where chaotic storms are brewed; his heart, a new adventure for me as we twist
and turn falling deeper down the rabbits hole,
unleashing all his secrets without judgements.
And I’ll reciprocate, as he too will be yearning.

I just want to feel the rush of a crush. The excitement of new beginnings
with the unpredictabilities of infinite possibilities.
And if I so happen to get lost, I hope he’ll get lost with me.

                                                                                                                                             © Al’Nysa S. Goodwin